002: reclaiming my future from 2020
In today's article, I'm talking about how my 2020 goals set me up for failure (even if I got everything I wanted) and how to redefine a goal so it's less about "them" and all about "you"!
I think it’s fair to say that last year (the year that shall not be named) took a majority of our hopes and dreams for those 12 months and punched them in the throat. I, for one, was looking forward to the extra spoopiness of a Halloween that landed on a weekend with a full moon and the majesty that is Fiericon but, alas — reality had other plans. It was upsetting but I am also grateful that I have survived such a terrible period of history in the United States.
I didn’t do much for New Year’s Eve. I was watching a cartoon about space lesbians while eating half an apple pie and a pint of Talenti when the ball dropped. My mother was in her room participating in a joint NYE Zoom service with members from 3 other local churches. This past New Year’s didn’t have the intrigue or the exuberance of previous celebrations that I had had, but I was content with the fact that my family is healthy and I am doing ok. It didn’t take long for me to start thinking about what my ideal 2021 would look like then, WHAM! The events of 2020 chopped me in the throat -oops sorry I said the thing!
These were some of my goals at the start of that ungodly year:
Book a national commercial
Get a legit agent
Get a boyfriend
Grow a massive butt through copious exercise
I can’t say that was all of them, but it’s enough for you to get the jist. Most of my goals were based on other people. For me to book a major commercial, a casting director and a team of executives would have to hire me. For me to get an agent, an agency would have to want me. There is no way that I could get a boyfriend without getting another person involved (i.e. the boyfriend) and the butt thing is something that I’m still working on. Basically, I had to reprioritize what is important to have in a goal/resolution/whatever, that is healthy and attainable.
So I made another list because I do love a list.
Here are the criteria for my 2021 (and on) goals:
Must be a goal that makes me feel better about myself
Must be a goal that I can accomplish on my own
Must be a goal that moves me closer to a passion I have
Must be something that isn’t based in self hate
Ideally, something that could help myself and someone else
That last point isn’t a necessity but I believe it is very important for breaking from the egotistical, self-obsessed capitalist mindset that is entrenched in Westernized cultures. The more opportunities we have to not only better ourselves but to encourage and uplift others, the more we can decentralize narratives and resources that were only available to privileged communities. Just food for thought.
What are my 2021 goals?
Make a newsletter that gives me joy (check!)
Recreate a healthy relationship with fitness and exercise
Practice making boundaries
See my friends in other countries (as soon as it is safe to)
Move into a one bedroom apartment (when the time is right)
Sure, some of these are still dependent on outside circumstances, but I have them on here as a reminder. A reminder that when an opportunity opens up, to move towards it. I will do what I can to accomplish all I can, and if I don’t, then I won’t belittle myself for it. Life is hard and disappointment hurts but who says that a goal has to end on December 31st?
This week’s Black Business owner is named Glorie and she is an Ohio-based jewelry maker, a print artist and a painter. Don’t worry though, she can ship her material to you quickly and easily no matter where you are. For the HTA newsletter she made 12 of these handcrafted clay earrings called “Community Love” and they are a perfectly lightweight pop of color!
Only paid subscribers will be able to get the code for these bad boys so, if you haven’t gotten that $5 monthly subscription already then you might want to hop on that now.
Here’s the heartwarming interview of Glorie! OMG also, she talks about the launch of her pre-Valentine’s Day giveaway and her new Valentine’s Day collection so you should DEFINITELY check that out!
I’ll see you all next week! And here’s a hint about what the next Black Business Owner is selling…
mama’s favorite kind of grape.