003: "I don't see color" racism in practice
Today I'm talking about the people who "don't care if you are white, black, blue or green" and why that's still racist. Included is an interview with LoveLee Wine founder and future somm, Aamira!
I went to Barnes and Nobles today to pick up 2 books I had ordered from another facility. While I was there I figured, “Why not pick up another book for shiggles?” Before I arrived at the bookstore, I googled a bunch of Black women sci-fi writers because I wanted to expand my collection. I fell in love with the N.K. Jemisin back in 2019 and I’ve never been the same since. I wanted more. I craved the science. But I wanted another recommendation, so I asked the first salesperson I saw in the store.
“Hi! I’m looking for a science fiction book written by a Black woman. Would you happen to have any recommendations?”
She said she didn’t know any off the top of her head but, “Would a really good novel by a Chinese man work?” I knew that she meant well but I could also tell that she had rephrased my question in her head as: “Do you have a science fiction recommendation written by a non-white person?” That was not what I asked.
But I followed because she could at least get me to the science fiction section. Once there she pointed me to the novel, The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Lui, a Hugo Award winning novel with rave reviews. It looked interesting but it wasn’t what I was looking for. She glanced to the side and noticed a popular Octavia Spencer book. For those who don’t know, Octavia is the Good Fellas of Black science fiction. The book she suggested was Kindred, another stunner of a novel but I wasn’t interested in reading a thriller about slavery in the South. I’m still processing the trauma of 2020, I didn’t need more to be scared of.
After I thanked her for pointing me in the right direction, she shared something that spoke volumes.
“To be honest, I don’t pay attention to who wrote the books. I just read.”
And what a privilege it is to just read and not think about anything else. To be so overwhelmingly reflected and represented in the books, scripts and stories you consume that you can seamlessly insert your likeness into any plot. As a Black woman, I don’t have that luxury in most storylines but, even so, I am cis, able-bodied, straight and thin. If I search hard enough, I will be somewhere (possibly) but definitely not in most pages.
The sentiment behind that book seller’s words is the “I don’t see color” mentality. This is why color-blind casting is so dangerous; it erases the beauty of different cultures and experiences in artistic spaces. Plus, everyone sees color (unless you are actually colorblind). To say that one’s “color” is irrelevant, regardless of the circumstance, is to say that, “I only see the parts of you that I accept and can understand”. To say that the author isn’t important is to ignore the cultural context behind why the work was created. We all did book reports in middle school and read The Crucible at least twice. Historical and cultural context is important in every circumstance. But I didn’t have the energy to have this conversation. The only plus was that I didn’t have to awkwardly smile my way through this conversation because, you know, masks.
Eventually, the book seller left and I found another 3-for-1 collection by the honey-butter-cream-cheese-to-my-plain-bagel, N.K. Jemisin and claimed it. I picked up the rest of my books at the cashier and left.
Let’s get introspective real quick
Could I have educated that book seller on their ignorance towards writers of color? Sure.
Would that have taken an emotional toll on me that I didn’t have the reserves for? Yes.
Was protecting my peace and my energy more important than possibly changing someone’s mind? Yes.
Was my silence in that moment an act of self-care? Was recognizing that I cannot save or educate everyone, nor should I be required to do so, an act of self-preservation? I think so.
BLACK OWNED BUSINESS ALERT: WE GOT WINE
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I interviewed a NJ-based wine-maker, mom and sommelier-in-training named Aamira! Many of you sent me your wine questions through Facebook and Instagram so thank you and WE GOT ANSWERS! Well…not “we”…Aamira has the answers, the killer looks (we went FULL GLAM for you all today) and she is sharing an HTA special discount.
15% OFF YOUR ORDER OF LOVELEE WINE if you use the HTA discount code!
Do you want that discount code? You’re going to have to get the $5 monthly subscription. You’re subscription helps this Black business owner (me) help other Black business owners (like Aamira) get more publicity!
I’m not going to pressure you but…..it IS Black History Month…
You can learn more about Aamira and LoveLee Wine through the YouTube video. You can also find her at loveleewine.com or on IG @loveleewine