How to Gain the Confidence of a Greg; a Mediocre White Man Applying for a $70k Start Up Grant with No Experience in Anything Except Breathing Slowly
And a funny new video with some Black business owners (if you want a personal trainer then this is for you)!
A few weeks before I launched Heart To Arts, I was on Clubhouse and I entered a room for Black professionals who wanted advice. Long story short, they were amazing! In fact, the second that you have the time, go and check out Incluzion.co and you’ll see what I am. They are a group of truly wonderful people doing good work for Black professionals in need of some assistance.
Anyway
At some point in the conversation, I mentioned that I am “just a freelance writer” and that I was looking for a “more professional” platform to work more consistently. The host of the room, Martin Pratt, chimed in and reminded me that:
Working full-time for a company isn’t all it’s hyped up to be, especially for Black people
I am a professional writer who freelances
I am a Harvard Masters graduate, so I have a seat in every room I enter
That was when I realized just how deeply Imposter Syndrome was disrupting my professional life. For those who are unfamiliar, Imposter Syndrome, or the Imposter Phenomenon, is when someone “persist[s] in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise. Numerous achievements, which one might expect to provide ample objective evidence of superior intellectual functioning, do not appear to affect the impostor belief” according to Psych Today. This syndrome was studied by the girl bosses Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes.
As you might expect, these are two white ladies; and this study focused primarily on other high achieving cis white ladies. Today, we understand that this is not just a white lady phenomenon and that this deeply affects people of color everywhere, especially those who have been told by racist policies that they do not belong in successful spaces.
Outside of that moment, it seems crazy to me that I worked so hard, gathered so much knowledge, got a whole Masters’ degree from the most pretentious sounding school and still questioned if I have the ability to accomplish the goals in front of me. Like...that doesn’t sound...logical.
But so many of us live in this space everyday. Questioning our own ability to the point of inability. Dreaming high then talking ourselves out of it because of a feeling of unworthiness. And I wonder where this comes from but, more importantly, how do we break free of imposter syndrome?
Here are my thoughts:
Is there a way we can believe in ourselves the way that mediocre white men believe in themselves?
Is there a way we can trick ourselves to speak up for ourselves like we are a Karen at a Chick Fil A and the cashier forgot the Polynesian sauce?
What if we just do the thing that terrifies us, constantly?
What if, even when we get rejected or fall short of what we want and deserve, we can be like a child and say “I’ll get it next time!” every time?
Can we hyperbolically compliment ourselves so regularly that we start to believe our own words?
Basically, I wonder if creating a pattern of dreaming higher is the key. Support from friends, family and fans helps but, ultimately, all internal change starts...well...from the inside.
Ok I know I’ve been REALLY bad with the videos lately because life has been crazy but I’m trying to get back on it! So here’s a fun-times video I did with the ladies of 237 Fitness! There will be more new business to come and support so keep an eye out!!
If you want to learn about my latest steps to moving out of the USA then join the paid subscribers group and come along for the journey!