008: What the Queen of England and Your Racist Coworkers Have in Common
I couldn’t wait until Thursday to write about this internationally steamy cup of TAH -EE, HUNTY so here I am. Coming at you with some hot takes and a preview of this week's Black business feature!
The CBS interview.
THE CBS INTERVIEW.
THE GAUL. THE DRAMA. THE OPRAH.
For those unfortunate souls who don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll quickly catch you up before I adjust my bathing suit and deep dive into this thing. Basically, Oprah conducted an interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry about what really went down during their time at Buckingham Palace and the misrepresentation in the media regarding Meghan’s character. Before the interview officially began, Oprah made it clear that neither Meghan nor Harry were being paid to participate in the interview, and they had not been prepped for any of the questions. The first part of the interview was just Meg and Oprah #girltalk, then Harry joined in later. AND THE TEAAAAAAAAAA like none of us were prepared.
I won’t be summarizing the entire 2-hour long interview because: 1. Literally everyone can watch CBS and, 2. I don’t want to. Instead, I’m going to be pointing out some key points that stood out to me and how the events that happened to Meghan in front of the world also happen to many Black people navigating predominantly white institutions (PWIs). Also, there’s too much for me to talk about to beat around the bush so I’m just diving in.
Let’s do this:
1. The venom of white silence and white feminism
The Queen’s silence and Kate’s silence showcased their complacency with the vitriol that was being mass produced against Meghan. Starting from the inversion of the, “MEG MADE KATE CRY,” tabloid explosion (which, for those who don’t know, it was actually Kate who made Meghan cry ON HER WEDDING DAY) and continuing for the entirety of Meghan’s stay in the Palace, there was no #sisterhood in the palace. The, “Meg made Kate cry,” story was the beginning of the character assassination of Meghan Markle that could have been easily silenced by two people: Kate, the actual perpetrator, and the Queen, WHO IS THE QUEEN.
Although Meg and Harry only showered praises onto the Queen’s character during their interview, the truth is that she didn’t help. If the Queen said, “This stops today. Leave my granddaughter alone,” then that would have been the end of everything. But she didn’t.
So what does this have to do with everyday, non-royal people?
I NEVER want to hear another white person ask me, “How can I be an ally?” or say, “I’m scared to speak out against racism because what if I say something wrong.” I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. It. This is a prime example of how literally doing anything would’ve helped. A statement of support in any fashion would’ve quelled most of the racism that was being hurled at Meghan. Even Parliament was like, “WOAH GUYS! I know we’re English but we have to admit that this is undeniably ‘colonial,’ right Royal Family?” to which the Royal family gave a succinct response of: “No comment.” Or, as we say in the Black community: “Nah.” Basically, if you see something, do something. Anything helpful IS HELPFUL! Meghan’s story is a parable of, at best, what happens when white people twiddle their thumbs.
Every Black person has had the experience of being vulnerable and/or attacked in a predominantly white space, hoping that anyone would stand up for them and remembering that racism is everywhere. Meghan said her only regret was that she believed she would be protected and OOF I felt that. So the next time you are in a board meeting and someone calls the only Black woman present “aggressive,” or when Chad says a racist joke and everyone laughs on the zoom call, or when Brenda won’t stop calling things, places, or people “ghetto” in front of Black people; remember that you have a choice to remain silent. You can LITERALLY DO SOMETHING or you can be Kate Middleton.
2. HOW DID TYLER PERRY BECOME THE UNSUNG HERO OF THIS STORY??
Like we all (Black people) grew up watching Diary of a Mad Black woman on repeat. We all saw Tyler in that bodysuit, those bruised and braless cantaloupe titties swinging underneath that Goodwill nightie and said, “Yea that seems right.” And just when I thought the wildness of their story couldn’t get any more unfathomable, here he comes. Our Madea in shiny armor.
In all seriousness, Tyler did something that resonated so deeply in the Black community. He saw the pain. He saw the need and, like that grandma that slips you a $20 under the table when you come to visit, said, “Here’s a house, security, and all the time you need.” Like. MY WHOLE HEART.
3. Harry lost his family and his title because he protected his Black wife. What are you willing to lose to protect Black people?
I think that Harry might have had one, “oh no I was too honest,” moment and it was about his Dad. When Harry first mentioned that his father, the crown prince and his only living parent, was no longer answering his calls, I saw all the hurt and disappointment that a son could have towards his father. He later tried to clean up that moment by saying that he and Father dearest are now on speaking terms but, personally, I think he was just trying to save face. Regardless, this opens up a much larger conversation about the mourning process for white people who have rejected white supremacy and are now seen as traitors to not only whiteness, but their loved ones and families.
Harry was born a prince to the British Empire. He was literally an heir to Imperialism. When Meghan spoke about the difference between the Royal family and celebrities, it honestly terrified me. It seemed like there was a different caliber of interactions, most of which were completely devoid of humanness, that had to be upheld for decorum and colonial legacy. Harry grew up in this. Loved his mother through this. Lost his mother to this. Was raised under the weight of this. And though it was a lot, it was all he knew and his family is still there. What do you do when you have reached a state of consciousness where your family and friends will not go? I don’t have the answers, but this piece from Barnor Hesse called “The 8 White Identities” has been very helpful to some of my white friends in similar positions.
Also, in the very least, he will always have Uncle Tyler.
4. I WANTED MEGHAN AND HARRY TO NAME NAAAAAAMES
The biggest info-drop that SHOOK Black twitter was when Meghan said that someone in the Royal’s inner circle voiced concern about how dark Archie could potentially be while she was pregnant. 1. THE CAUCASITY but 2. All things considered, it was unsurprising.
Two things about that:
Interesting how Meghan only found this out through Harry because she wasn’t allowed into those “firm meetings.”
We all wanted names! We want first, last and middle initial! We want to know their astrological signs so we can see a snake coming in the future! WE WANT TO KNOOOOOOW. But they didn’t tell us. And I’m mad. But here’s why I think they didn’t.
My mom said once, “If it costs you your peace then it’s too expensive.” Meghan and Harry have been through nothing less than the final dress rehearsal of GET OUT 2 (the musical) and all that they have gained is their independence and their peace. If they started naming names and stirring the pot, they would have put themselves right back into the tabloid death circle.. I think that it was very kind (and unnecessarily gracious) of them to try and save the reputation of whoever this human embodiment of all the racism in the British Empire is, but I don’t think that saving them from themselves was Meg and Harry’s endgame. A happy life with their chickens and the beach and their own money and their little nugget that will be born this summer (AAAAAAHHH!!) is all they want.
But I still want names, addresses, phone numbers, employment locations, hair and eye color, first-name-rhymes-with, favorite restaurant, gimme something anything and I will find them.
5. PRINCESS DIANA KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN AND I WANTED TO CRYYYYY
Now I don’t know everything that happened with Princess Diana. All I know for certain is that she was adored everywhere she went, that she was not a typical royal, and the firm hated her for that. She also struggled with suicidal thoughts because of what she endured in the Palace, and Prince Harry would never leave her side. She knew that life in the Palace would be hard for her son that was so much like her, so very trapped and yet bursting with life. So she prepared and made a way for him, even beyond the grave.
When Meghan said that the firm took her driver’s license, passport, and keys, I was horrified. I could hear the theme for Jordan Peele’s Us playing in my mind and all I could think was, “oh girl...you gotta get out of there...BUT HOW?!” Then when Harry said that upon their arrival to Canada, the firm cut off all of his access to the crown’s money, I WAS DOUBLY FLOORED. So by the time that Harry said that his mother had stashed money to the side for him, just in case he needed it, all I could think was, “HOW?!” I’m sure that every mother that reads this will just know that you do what you gotta do for your babies but also...I want to know how she got around all that financial security to open a bank account separate and secure enough for her son to access it without the crown tampering.
I have so many more thoughts on this but I think I’ll leave it at this for now. What are your thoughts about this hot mess? LMK in the comments.
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Now for your sneak peek for this week’s Black owned business feature! Welcome Lesley and Debbie, the founders of 237 Fitness! I met Lesley a few months ago when I was interviewing fitness professionals for Stylist Magazine and I knew I had to have her and her business partner on here.
They are offering the paid HTA subscribers their choice of TWO discounts:
a free consultation
6 sessions free when you purchase 6 sessions
I’ll sent out the discount code on Thursday :)
You can do both, if you want, but TRUST ME you will want to at least talk to them! They are a wealth of fitness knowledge (and they do work via zoom and in person)! Also, trigger warning, there are mentions of past disordered eating habits in this interview.