Why did life start aggressively falling into place the moment I turned 30?
Starting a new chapter in Mexico and relaunching my newsletter in a sustainable way
I haven’t moved yet but I will in January! But first, let’s backtrack a little.
Life’s been crazy. Full disclosure, I completely burnt out a few months ago. Between the rat infested apartment, the up-and-down instability with work, trying to conduct interviews for the newsletter, family stuff, dating stuff, life stuff, I just got overwhelmed and needed a break from the newsletter. In the past few months I made an amazing friend who had helped me create a more sustainable way to continue the newsletter and even introduce more elements that I love (that I think you all will love, too)! I can’t to show you all what I’ve been working on :)
Also, my 30th birthday was a few weeks ago. And while I will dive more into my Mexico decision, which state and city I’ve decided and why, how long I’ll be living there, and all that good stuff in later newsletters; first, I want to talk about the 8 things I’ve learned as I approached the big 3-0.
Trust that little voice in your gut.
Some people call it the Holy Spirit, some people call it your ancestors, some people call it a “vibe”. Whatever you call it, learning to identify it among all the other noise in my body has not only saved me from LOTS of bad decisions and potential danger, but it’s also gotten me more aligned with the type of peace that I want to live in.
Your tribe will find you as long as you are authentic to yourself
No matter where in the world you are, if you vibrate at your most authentic frequency, the people that resonate with you will literally just find out. At marketplaces, in movie theaters, on TikTok, on tour buses across countries, it’s happened before so it’ll happen again and again and again.
What you do doesn’t have to make sense to anyone
The amount of doubt that numerous people have put onto what you want to do with your life could’ve been crippling, but you remained true to yourself anyway. Continue to think things through, process, ask questions, build a trustworthy inner circle who can help you ask the important questions you didn’t think to ask without pouring water on your igniting dreams. And then. Fly.
The world is a beautiful place
Yes, bad things have happened. Yes, bad things will happen. Yes, you’ll never know what tomorrow brings. But the world is full of beautiful, kind, adventurous, lovely, helpful, curious, wondrous, insightful, ridiculous, hilarious, inspiring people and you never would’ve met if you didn’t buy that ticket. And. They are all so excited to meet you.
Your body can’t do what it used to do and that’s ok
Drink more water when you go partying with your friends. You’re not a lil bitch (sorry mom) just because you tap out after 3 glasses of wine. You need your knees for the rest of your life so don’t drop anything too low. STRETCH. Eat more greens.
Being single and happy is a revolutionary act
Having a partner (who is an actual partner and not deadweight) is wonderful, but also women being partnered is societally expected under the patriarchy. Black women, more than anyone else, are expected to fail, especially when single. The world was forced to see Black women as breeders through transatlantic slavery. Black women’s happiness is a phenomenon that survived against all odds and logic but here we are. Here you are. Single. Childless. Breathing. Bubbling over with joy. Look at you go.
Most of my biggest breakthroughs and hardest lessons came from finally listening to, healing, and reveling in my inner child
This is only the beginning of the fantastical story that is my life.
Black Owned Business Highlights:
For those who have been following for a while, you know that I’m all about promoting Black owned businesses so, for this birthday edition, here are some birthday-oriented businesses to support for all your celebratory needs! First is CAKE:
While I’m not a Georgia local @sweetbyshanice on TikTok could get me to make a trip. She started in the corporate world and then started following her dreams of being a baker. She does wedding cakes, cupcakes, high drama cakes, and so much more. Her creation that’s currently haunting my dreams, her Banana Pudding Cookie Sandwich. Yes, the recipe is on TikTok. You’re welcome. And, if you want to do some baking at home, def check out Jerrelle Guy’s Black Girl Baking! She had me at Baked Buttermilk Beignets (I’m a sucker for high-carb alliteration).
Next, let’s talk birthday WINE. I’ve ranted about most of my tried-and-true favorite Black owned wines on my TikTok (specifically this one right HERE) but I want to add one more to the list. It's called House of Brown and it's from a family-run vineyard in Cali! Medium body but CRISP and surprisingly light on the palette. Think strawberry and lychee but the more you drink it, the more you get the watermelon notes. It's very fruit forward but not super sweet (which I love). And it's 11.5% alcohol (because if I wanted grape juice, I’d buy Welch’s). Also it's about $23! When I find more faves I’ll be sure to let you all know :)
Finally, here’s my quick-and-dirty BEAUTY recommendations. If you need to get your breakouts in order and purge your skin without hurting yourself, I strongly recommend topicals. Not only is it Black woman owned and it works great for hyperpigmented skin but I personally use this brand to manage my skin. If you want to get inspired by someone who doesn’t the impossible with hair and makeup, def check out @theglamnaija. She’s brilliant, she’s hilarious, and she’s a die-hard weeb (a win on all fronts). For hair, I’ve really been enjoying tgin which stands for “Thank God It’s Natural). The founder and creator of the brand, Chris-Tia, is a Harvard Law grad and a breast cancer survivor. Beyond that, my hair is VERY picky about what it will and will not accept, and I’ve been very happy with the results after using the Butter Cream Daily Moisturizer, specifically. Will I be looking for other products from tgin? Yes, without question.
Journal Prompt:
If you could give one piece of encouragement to the 20-year-old you, what would you say?
For the paid subscribers:
I’m going to Colorado for a travel assignment in the near future. Come along for the ride with me! I need someone to rant about my adventures with.
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